Randi's Road to Wellness Lead by Faith

This blog luckily has no followers besides my sister, because it has been nothing but a big disappointment! I am at the tip top of my weight of all time again! (other than when I was 9months pregant with bryn) I am 17 weeks into this pregnancy cycle and I gained 20 lbs!!!! Not to mention the 20 pounds I gained before I got pregnant. I am not giving up completely I would like to believe I can turn this around! I want to report back in a month and tell you I have not gained anymore weight. I need to give up sugar. I have been bad with my "treats" this pregnancy! and I haven't stopped gaining since July every month I am up since JULY  this is awful! Keto was great.... falling off the keto bandwagon has been VERY BAD. I think I am worse than when I just trying to be healthy starting almost 3 years ago. Heres some pics from a few weeks ago at least 5 lbs less than even now..... The behind shot just hurts. I was about 14 weeks preggo in these pics.

I have tracked my food daily and I've done ok. This weekend we went out of town and it was a total mess. I ate out 3 days in a row, and did not pick healthy options. I gained a whopping 6 freaking pounds and I don't fit into my clothes!!!! Even my underwear are tight!! I know this is from the 10-15 punds I gained while on the fertility meds, and then eating out caused extreme bloat, plus the progesterone surge is causing me to bloat as well as the hormone relaxin slowing digestion causing extra bloat as well. So I look pregnant before I am showing!!! Its been extremely uncomfortable the past 3 days! And all of last week I felt very bloated. My goal for this week is to decrease bloat and take off those 6 pounds of water and hopefully fit my clothes a bit more properly!

I am not really doing New Years Resolutions per say. I have a few routines I would like to better establish and my main concern is a healthy a pregnancy. Considering I am back to my starting high weight.... I am very concerned with weight gain. I have started tracking my calories and macros again. I am not concerned with keto during pregnancy, but I would like to be as close to low carb paleo as possible. I would like to stay no more than 100g of carbs and ideally around 60g. I would like to get up to 100g of protein a day. Fat is flexible not really concerned with how much. But obviously getting a good dose of healthy fats. For calories I just want to stay under 2000.  I'm really trying to get in my food based supplements, and taking extra vitamin D and DHA omega 3s. I am working on a steady intake of ginger tea to ward off nausea, and I am trying lots of lemon water to help with the bloating. Especially in these early weeks. Trying to get in as much veggies and fruits as I can f...

Ok folks I was wrong! I took just 1 more test on the day of my missed period and I'M PREGNANT!!!! Thank you Lord!!!!!!! Praying for health and safety of this baby, especially in these early weeks! Baby Randall #2 due September 7th!

I am on Cycle Day 29 12 DPO for cycle #2 I did end up getting positive OPKs and a very small temp spike. Once again my BBT says I ovulated the day before my LH surge. So this confuses me! I just emailed my OB about it. I have a feeling she is going to refer me to a fertility specialist..... But I am hoping she knows! Or she will up my dosage for the letrozole. I am testing negative for pregnancy and at this point it is very unlikely I will get a positive result later. It of course is possible, but most likely not :( I am definitely feeling down. And really starting to worry! But alas my faith is in God and his plan is perfect for my life, and I will just keep strong in knowing that. No matter what his path is for my life I know its perfect even if I can't understand. Being in the state of not knowing or understanding is a bit difficult and has its moments of good and its moments of mourning my own dreams. I am starting to get sensitive to other people's pregnancies and ...

This post is a bit dear diaryish but its real, honest, and raw emotions in the midst of infertilty and struggling with being obese. I am feeling so depressed the last few days. I am on my 2nd letrozole cycle and from the beginning things just aren't going as flawlessly! My temps were erratic to start with and my OPKs aren't getting darker. I am now on Cycle day 16 and have yet to have a positive OPK or an ovulation. It seems clear I am failing this cycle! Now with the cycle I got pregnant on with Bryn it was a failed cycle with a really late ovulation so I am not out of the woods. But when I got pregnant with Bryn I have always known it was God intervening and didn't really have anything to do with the drugs. So this time I am just feeling down about all of it. On top of this I have been really binge eating and I have officially gained all of my weight back! I do not feel good about myself and I am struggling with intimacy and feeling sexy. I feel too fat. I feel unattr...

So as we all know I super struggle with cheating and staying on that bandwagon. Once I do poorly its like self destruction mode! I had an epiphany yesterday. Maybe food flubs are like sin. 1 sin doesn't define me and I keep trying I keep moving forward and praying to move away from that sin. I don't delve deeper into out of guilt! That's just silly! So I am treating my food flubs like sin. It is what it is I need to ask myself for forgiveness and move on. I need to pray to ask for strength and for transformation. Keep on keeping on!